Recently in my life, I have had reminders over and over that we only see through our own lenses. For one, many of us are running through life at the unsafe speed of 180 mph. We can barely see more than the blur as we zoom by. Am I right?
Feeling Free
I miss my husband. I miss my babies. And yet, part of my excitement to return is knowing that when I do they will get a better version of me than the one that departed three days ago.
This trip, this time, these moments -- a dream come true.
About 6 months ago, during a rare text exchange with Leslie, I said, "Can we just have a night at Conference? Or South Beach? I don't care which." (These are bars we frequented in college. A lot of dancing. A lot of memories. A lot of fun. No stress.) We giggled. Obviously, this wasn't going to happen.
Life is hard. It is stressful. So. Much. Stress. But I wanted time -- time with my friend to talk and share and just love. When in the world would we get that time? Would we ever? We have demands, responsibilities, families, and distance.
Instead of dismissing my desire (aren't we all guilty of that?), I held on to it and kept hope that there would be an opportunity. It will happen, I thought. And, there was an opportunity. No more than a month later I saw that someone I had really been wanting to hear speak would be sitting on a panel and doing a keynote speech in Dallas. Instead of making excuses (the kids have swimming, we have to work, I can't leave the kids, Tyler has a demanding schedule ... there are a lot), I talked to Tyler. We decided I would book a flight to Dallas. I put on Facebook that I would be in town and quickly received a message from my very first college roommate that she wanted to get together. Wow, what an unforeseen blessing. And, I called my friend Lyndsay, "I am coming to town and I want to see you." Flight was booked, plans were made, bags were packed ... dreams were coming true.
Leslie and I spent a morning together. It was almost spiritual as we gathered around her perfectly set table. I thought I could cry. I couldn't believe I was there. The two of us, our Moms, one of her babies, our memories, our shared experiences. Our love for one another. It was all there.
Lunch with Linsey brought back memories I had forgotten, rekindled a friendship from more than a decade ago, and presented opportunities to get together in the future. Our lives have changed, but we were there for each other in special seasons of life and this time it won't be 13 years before we see each other again.
My sleepover at Lyndsay's, our conversations, and my time playing with her kids on the floor provided the comfort and assurance that the geographical distance between us wouldn't create the space I had allowed with Leslie and Linsey.
Four days. Three friends. Two-day health event with amazing speakers. One big 'ole dream come true. I am bursting. And, I am so thankful. My husband, my kids, my friends, my job ... all so incredibly special and important. I have enough to give, to share, to offer. I am enough. My cup is full. And, I have the power to make my dreams come true. That, my friends, is more than comforting. It is freeing.
What is your dream?
You Have Permission to Be True to You
You Make a Difference. Make it Positive.
Today, as I lay on the couch with my ankle propped up, I called my Mom.
“I was doing so well,” I said. “I was staying active.”
In that moment, my Mom did what she has ALWAYS done — she told me to turn it into something positive. “Meditate, pray and do all of the things you always wish you could do if you had time.”
Mom reminded me that in big moments and in small, seemingly insignificant, moments we all have choices to make and chances to make a difference.
One specific individual came to mind today. (As I write this, hundreds of others come to mind and I’m overwhelmed at the idea of creating a list of everyone who has made a difference in my life.)
- Mrs. Nowlin, English Teacher, Debate Coach, Unknowing Life Coach
My first thought is that I don’t know where to start. My second thought is that I better proof this sucker until it’s perfect because any error I don’t find, she most certainly will, and I CAN’T let her down. Mrs. Nowlin, you are the reason I don’t allow my children to end a sentence with a prepositional phrase. You are one of the reasons I believe in myself. You are the kind but fierce gentle soul I hope to be (which also sounds like Diane Masariu if I do say so myself.) I could go on. Maybe I will in a private letter.
As I said, there are an obscene amount of people God has blessed me with in my life. YOU are a blessing. YOU live with, and among, people you impact every day. It may be some significant conscious choice you make. Most of the time, it’s small and unknowing. In either situation, please do not forget that you are making a difference. And, dammit, I hope you are a making a positive one.
(I welcome your comments with names of individuals who have made a difference in your life! Send them the link to let them know this made you think of them.)
Please, Find a Farmer. Support Them. And, Thank Them.
Our strawberry plant starts to flower.
"Congratulations on choosing a profession that is socially, philosophically, ethically, morally and — one dearly wishes — economically satisfying. Few jobs in our society can lead to the pride, pleasure, and sheer fun that comes from growing food for yourself, your friends and family, or for others, in ways that promote human health and protect the environment.
"At issue, of course, is how to make a living from doing what you love …
“If you are farming sustainably, you are, by definition, an agricultural activist, working with your hands and sweat for a healthier and more sustainable food system. You may not feel like an activist, but because that is how you will be perceived, you might as well start acting like one…
I wish you all the courage in the world to take on this challenge."
-- Marion Nestle, Letters to a Young Farmer
Weeks ago my daughter came home talking about the professions she was being taught about at preschool. “I want to be a farmer,” she said. (Now, she has also said she wants to be a babysitter. She is four. Who really knows what she will "be" when she grows up.)
But, I had just learned about Letters to a Young Farmer, a book from the Stone Barns Center for Food & Agriculture. Thumbing through it I came upon the excerpt above.
Marion Nestle’s letter is exactly why we purchased our second and third Tower Gardens this month. As a family, we want to move from consumers to producers. I want my kids to have an appreciation for food, for the work it takes to grow it, for the money it takes to buy it ... the list goes on.
Nestle's quote also prompted some research about local farmers and their stories. Providing healthy, nutritious food for our communities isn’t for the faint of heart. It isn’t for glamour or social status. It certainly doesn’t seem to be for those seeking immense wealth. Farming provides a basic need for survival. And, it’s hard work. It made me want to thank each and every one of the farmers I read about. Today I visited my first Farmers’ Market of the season. Again, I just wanted to say, “Thank You.”
My daughter and I aren’t farmers. It would be inaccurate to call ourselves such and frankly, “farmer” is a title that should be reserved for those who have made it a profession. We have started small. We are Tower Gardeners. But, through Tower Gardening, we too seek to make a difference. We may be starting small but we are dreaming big. And our small start is sustainable! If in doing what we are doing we are seen as food activists, as Nestle suggests, then we will assume the role.
So here is my humble request to you: Please, visit a Farmers' Market. Find a farmer. Contribute to their ability to make a living (so they can continue to serve you.) Thank them. Because honestly, what would we do without them?
Growth
Sweet treasures from my little. They didn't last long in a "vase" but the picture remains.
I wanted to be a Landscape Architect. My parents, who provided for us well but had to count every penny, hired a landscape designer when I was about 11 or 12. It was a big investment. In my memory I followed that team around, asking questions about their work and education. Likely I was the incredibly annoying kid y'all are picturing. They developed and executed lovely landscaping plans and looking back, I was fascinated.
I was on the FFA Horticulture Team at my high school. I’d have to confirm with Mr. Chesnut that I am remembering correctly, but I think we did pretty well. And, into my early years of college, I took pride in knowing scientific names of so many plants. Weirdo.
Tonight — as I rocked my little to sleep — those memories I just mentioned came flooding back. Trust me when I tell you I haven’t thought about that landscape design team since probably the week after they left the house. And, I haven’t thought of my time on the horticulture team since the last time I boastfully noted the scientific name of a plant, which was probably the first semester of my freshman year.
I studied public relations, secured an internship (which became a full-time position) and have had the great pleasure of serving more clients than I can count in my 10-year marketing and communications career.
But man, I get all jazzed up about gardening ... about seeing things grow and bloom. Fruits, veggies, herbs, flowers, bulbs, perennials … I don’t discriminate. I even enjoy the precious "blooms" my kids collect.
It all started (or re-started) when we bought a house. Our first year as homeowners we took a trip to our local Lowe’s for $50 worth of annuals which would decorate our front porch. Then another trip for the patio. Another for the back door. Another for the hanging plants … it went on. Our little $50 budget turned into, well, more than was budgeted. A focus on annuals turned into a focus on perennials. Then bulbs. Grasses. Herbs. A Tower Garden. You get the picture.
Tonight as I rocked my little, I couldn’t help but wonder what squashed my little idea of being a “Landscape Architect.” Maybe that epiphany will come later. But, I’m still a “grower.” While I may grow landscaping plants, flowers, herbs, fruits and veggies by morning and night, I’m growing people and businesses during the day. And maybe that is what life is all about … growth.
